hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
