I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize