I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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