i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize