i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
