Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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