Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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