will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
