You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
