Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
