Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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