Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
