The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
