her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Pooping to opera.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
