I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
