Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
