States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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