At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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