I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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