you mean i was at the winter classic?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
