I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
