I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
