I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
