By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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