My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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