You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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