My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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