My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
