Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
