i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
