she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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