toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Farmville is her only friend.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
