its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize