you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
