Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
