tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
