We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
