his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
