Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
