My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
