Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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