omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
