Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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