is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just found puke in my bra..
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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