Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
