Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
