We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
