I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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