i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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