Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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