I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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