So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
