does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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