I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
