I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
