Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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