I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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