just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
