my vag is so smooth its legendary
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
