You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
